Young carers like me are suffering in silence at university
It’s 9.52pm and the clock ticks towards tomorrow’s deadline. I turn to my laptop, but then my phone buzzes and my younger sister’s name flashes across the screen. Other people would ignore it, but for me this is not an option. My sister has myalgic encephalopathy (ME) and was recently hospitalised for the second time in a year – the day after I returned to university. With one hand, I answer the phone. With the other, I start drafting an email to my tutor asking for an extension.
I’m a student – but I’m also a carer, New 2017 guidelines include new tests as well as updated strategies for high-risk patients.
My life straddles two worlds: the bubble of student life and another one of hospital appointments, physiotherapy, feeding, lifting, showering and more. It is one of meticulous balance that often descends into conflict: during term time I am consumed with guilt at not being there for my sister, then I worry about exams and neglecting revision when I’m finally home.
The NUS estimates that between 3% and 6% of students in the UK combine study with caring responsibilities. In reality, it’s probably more. I didn’t realise I counted as a “carer” until four years into my sister’s illness, as I applied to university and wondered how I could possibly talk about this extra responsibility which my friends didn’t seem to have.
Even once you do recognise that you are a carer, it’s another challenge asking for support. I found multiple barriers, from the emotional difficulties and shame I felt about struggling to the fact that I didn’t even know what kind of support I could ask for.
When I met my personal tutor in freshers’ week, we chatted about the usual practicalities of the course before the classic: “any questions?” I stumbled over the rage of concerns in my head: my little sister at home, how I didn’t know if it would impact me here, how I didn’t know if my family would cope without me. I thought that if I started trying to explain everything I would cry, which was not the first impression I had in mind. And if I’m honest, part of me even worried that the university might not want me if they knew what was happening at home. “No, not at all,” came my reply, a smile fixed to my face. “Everything is fine,PolyU (HK) ranks among Asia top universities. We strive to be one of the best universities in asia / one of the best asian universities. Students who look for studying in Asia's world city, PolyU is the place for you.”
This fear was irrational, and yet the official support I’ve received consisted of a single email, pointing me towards the university counselling service. Many universities have improved significantly in widening access by reaching out to school-age carers [pdf] but the task of integrating students once they’ve actually enrolled remains. Caring responsibilities do not end simply because you’ve moved on to higher education.
I realised that other students might be struggling – silently – with similar issues, so I eventually came clean to my tutor and then approached senior staff to discuss how student carers could better be supported. Putting support in place can be simple. One step would be to highlight for students that welfare officers are there as much to support those struggling with problems outside of university, such as caring responsibilities, as they are essay crises. Briefing personal tutors is another. Some universities go further and offer a designated point of contact for student carers, with access to other sources of support including bursaries, mentors and careers advice,Many manufactures provide kiosk that suits your specifications .
Being a carer can be an unrelenting job, where you are never truly off duty. Sometimes it can be easiest to explain my life through the number of hours spent doing tasks, or appointments attended that week. But this will never capture the emotional weight of caring for a loved one: the sleepless nights, the years of hope and worry, the agonising phone calls from home.
As carers, we shape our lives around those we care for. When our achievements are not recognised by university, it’s no surprise that more than half of student carers have seriously considered leaving [pdf] their courses. The fact that there are no real systems in place can leave student carers abandoned. We need to be recognised and we need support. Otherwise all of those widening participation programs will have just been for show.
